


Take the N Train

by CrystalDen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Dates, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Kaydel & Poe Dameron - Freeform, Masturbation, Meet-Cute, New York City, Oral Sex, POV Rey (Star Wars), Praise Kink, Reference to Spanking, Rey & Rose Tico Are Best Friends, Rey Needs A Hug, Sexual Fantasy, Short & Sweet, Strangers to Lovers, Subways, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, reference to sex on a train, self-praise kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:08:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25964122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalDen/pseuds/CrystalDen
Summary: Rey and a curious stranger share a meet cute on the subway, but the end leaves them both searching for another opportunity to meet.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey & Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 54
Kudos: 199





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first posted fic. I love this fandom. I love being inspired. I love writing. And I'm finally at a point where I just want to share some of these ridiculous ideas that have been floating in my head. For better or worse, whether well executed or not, I hope you can enjoy the love behind it.

“How did it go?”

Rey throws her keys down on the cluttered, dusty table by the front door while simultaneously unloading her winter gear onto the floor. Her book bag makes a loud slap on the hardwoods. She usually took comfort in the cacophony of sounds coming home, but today...today, she was a bit...distracted.

“It was fine.” 

The slam of pots and pans fills her ears.

“What?”

Her roommate, Rose, was in her first six months of pastry school. She was likely practicing some new project due this week. Rey makes her way into the kitchen. Her eyes grow big at the sight of loaf pans, baking sheets covering their already small kitchen. Rose glances back at Rey and then to her mess. She shrugs and then looks back at her notes in her hand.

“Bread week.”

Rey grimaces at the thought of the gobs of bread they would be eating. She would need to do yoga every damn day this week.

“Bread week, indeed.”

Rose continues to thumb through some pages and make a few notes before motioning behind her.

“There’s some focaccia ready if you want. It’s good. Needs more rosemary, but it will do. Just grab some before Kaydel makes it into bread salad. Whatever the fuck that might be.”

Rey smiled and reached for the pan, tearing off a large piece. She takes a bite, leaning against the door frame, mindfully chewing the dense yet airy bread.

“What is this again? It’s good.” She smelled the top of the bread, inhaling the scent of olive oil and rosemary before taking another bite. 

“Focaccia. _Rey_ , the interview. Did it not go well?”

Her roommate turned and faced her, hands on her hips. Rey looked up with a quizzical expression. _Oh. Oh yeah. The interview._

Rose waited with a sympathetic expression.

“Yeah. I mean. No. I mean...it went well. They offered me the job.”

Rose grabbed her hands and jumped up and down, slinging bits of focaccia all over the kitchen. She squeals and leads Rey in a bit of a bounce.

“Oh my God, Rey! That’s amazing. Why the hell didn’t you just say so?” Rose hugs her and steps back, grabbing her notebook.

“What the fuck. I mean, seriously, I appreciate your trying to heighten the level of suspense, but come on.”

She smiles and wipes her hands on her apron, loading a few dishes into the sink.

“Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about something from the subway.”

“Rey, it’s called a penis. I know you’ve seen one before.”

Rose snickers and removes a few items from their tiny dining table. Rey takes another large bite, staring out the little kitchen window, perched above their sink. She could see the station in the distance.

“No. A guy. I think he was trying to hit on me.”

“Where? Was it one of the guys from the umbrella group at Times Square?”

“No. He was on the N. It wasn’t creepy. It was nice.”

Rose pulls a tray from the oven and lets it land with a slap on the stovetop. She turns sharply and throws the dish towel over her shoulder.

“Damn, it’s a true state of the world when you have to make a point to say that a guy hit on you, but not in a creepy way.”

Rey shrugs and walks into the tiny shared living space. Rose follows her, flopping on the haphazardly thrown together couch. They try not to think about it, but it was pieced together from several neighbors, cleaned, and then covered in couch covers and sheets. They didn’t talk about it, because Rose was haunted by the idea of the various naked butts that had been on those pieces before their place.

Rey is still munching on the bread, tearing smaller and smaller pieces from the loaf she snagged. Rose crosses her arms.

“So, you got the job, but you’re not excited, because…fuck, Rey, just say it.”

“Believe me. I’m excited. I was thrilled when I left. I nearly ran to the train to get home and tell you.” Rey tucks her legs underneath her in the large chair. “I got on the train, decided not to text you, because I wanted to tell you in person and then completely forgot that any of that happened, because of a guy...oh my God, what is wrong with me?” She takes a breath and sits back with her hand pressed to her forehead.

“Damn, girl. This better be good.”

* * *

  
  


She did make a conscious decision to wait and tell Rose. This interview had been a long time coming. The applications, the phone calls, and the networking she had to endure to just get on the list, to get in the door, to get an interview. Rey felt exhausted before she was able to meet anyone face-to-face. But, to her credit, she had always been persistent.

And the interview? It could not have gone better. The only blip was a moment of hesitation on her part when presented with her salary. Rose would give her hell for that, but saying what she wanted and needed were sometimes difficult for Rey. Instead, she accepted the position without much pause, although the salary wasn’t quite what she needed or wanted. As she left, she still floated out of there, head held high. 

She was at the subway station before she remembered to text Rose, but thought better of it. She wanted to see the smile on her roommate’s face when she told her. Maybe she’d grab a small bottle of champagne from the neighborhood grocery. What the hell. They’d probably just end up at the pub on the corner. Rose could buy a round.

She felt good. She still wasn’t quite sure about her shade of lipstick or the color of her dress, but she knew she looked good. She sat on the end seat, her heavy bag still strapped to her back. She felt every bit of her body humming, blood pumping from the run to catch her train. She barely remembered the trip down from all of the excitement. It had been the best interview of her life and now she was going to have her foot in the door. She could feel herself beaming, eyes staring off past the heads of her fellow passengers. 

She stayed seated as the rush of feet continued to pile in at each stop. She pulled out her phone to tell Rose to change her clothes for celebration, but stopped herself and placed her phone in her bag. She would wait patiently.

She glanced towards the doors to check for the next stop, when her eyes locked with the giant impeding her view.

They both looked away quickly, her eyes focusing intently on the pointed toes of her shoes. She couldn’t be sure, but he had been looking at her, his smile already warm.

If you live in the city, hell, if you’re a woman long enough in this world, you’ve been subjected to unwanted attention. Sometimes it’s a polite request for a number, but in Rey’s experience, it’s usually a gentleman tucked away in a large coat, carrying a trash bag of Beanie Babies trying to share his fortune, staring and smiling. Just smiling.

Beanie Baby guy had been harmless, eventually asking her if he could give her one, but the encounter was still creepy nonetheless.

Rey laughs as she remembers telling Rose and Kaydel about him, Kaydel leaving to retrieve a small Beanie Baby from her desk. _“Kaydel, what the fuck?”_

A small puff of air escapes her nose and she can still feel the stranger’s eyes on her out of the corner of her eye. She’s trying not to draw attention to herself. He’s hanging towards the middle of the car, one hand hanging from a handle to grip, the other holding his phone that he is pretending to scroll. 

He’s tall. Dark, shoulder length hair. He’s neatly dressed. The business casual vibe that seems to be a hallmark of her generation. Or his? She’s not sure. He’s older, sure, but not by too much. Button up, sleeves rolled up.

Rey blots her lips together and brushes her hair back from her face. She attempts to steal another glance his way under the cover of her hand.

He quickly darts his eyes down to his phone, smiling sheepishly, and turning a light shade of pink.

He’s been caught, so surely, he will just go back to trying to catch a glimpse of her. She smiles at the thought of catching him again in the act.

No.

When she looks back, he’s scrolling his phone and making an effort to look off in the opposite direction, avoiding her.

_I guess it was fun while it lasted._

* * *

  
  


“Wait. That was it? A cute, giant stared at you, smiled, never said anything, and you couldn’t bother to fucking tell me that you got the biggest job of your very new and short career?”

“Well, not quite.”

“Thank God.”

“Jesus Christ, Rose. Shut up.”

“Well, speed this up. I have more focaccia in the oven.”

* * *

  
  


Rey looks back down at her very pointy, worn shoes. That may be on the list of things to buy with her first few paychecks. Her face falls for a second at the thought of skirting around the salary issue that Rose will definitely ask, but Rey is just not like Rose. She is ready to go with the flow. She never had the support that Rose had growing up. She was eager to have what she did. She never complained. She will eventually work her way up, and once she’s proven herself, then she will make her demands.

She inhales and sighs at the thought. 

_When she’s proven herself._

She will get to prove herself. 

She did it. She really fucking did it. Her smile returns in full force, and she actually feels tired from the amount of smiling she had been able to do today. 

“Have a good day?”

Rey startles at the nearness of a deep, mellow voice. When she looks up, she realizes the stranger is looking directly at her, his eyes full of dark chocolate. Or honey. Or...brown. They’re a really bright and inviting color of brown.

“Huh?”

He gestures towards her, but is careful to stay put.

“You looked really happy. Did you have a good day?”

He had still been watching her. She blushes a little, biting her lower lip.

“Actually...yeah. I had a really great day.”

He smiles and nods, placing his phone in his back pocket.

“That’s awesome.”

“Yeah,” she nods and grins back, “Yes, it is.”

She looks away towards the faces of the passengers to see if they are witnessing this interaction. She’s met with a few pairs of sunglasses, papers, books, and far off looks.

She can feel the way his body stays open to her as he tries to keep a respectful distance. Maybe it’s the excitement or the kind way he gives her space, but she can’t help but invite him into her bubble.

“I had an interview today. I’ve been practically begging to meet with someone to get my foot in the door. It’s this really weird…” she stops herself and shakes her head, “Well, anyway, it went really well.”

He turns toward her and nods.

“That’s amazing. When do you find out?”

“Oh. They offered. I accepted. I start next week.”

“Wow. Congratulations!”

“Thanks,” she shrugs from nerves, “I feel pretty good about it.”

“Yeah, I could tell. You know. Like I said, you looked really happy.” He winces as if he’s made a mistake in admitting having his attention turned toward her.

The train slows toward its next stop and he glances to check.

“I am. I’m really happy,” she replies, attempting to keep whatever is happening between them going.

Her eyes follow his gaze out the windows. Two more stops before she can run and tell Rose. Two more stops and the conversation with the subway stranger will be over.

He looks back at her.

“So, you going to go out with friends and celebrate tonight?”

She pauses at his question, playing with the straps of her bag. 

“Yeah, I think I will. There’s a pub in my neighborhood. I’m pretty sure I can convince my friend that it’s in her best interest to buy a round.”

“You should definitely do that.” He grins wide and easy. 

Rey doesn’t know where this conversation has been going or where it’s headed, but she finds it easy to smile back at him. He seems sweet. She likes the way he looks at her every time she answers a question, like he’s just happy to be there in her presence. 

And okay, he’s cute. He’s cute, okay? But, the more he asks her questions, the more she notices his long, lean arms, the broad expanse of his chest. Even the way he awkwardly stands, trying to not hover over in her seat. He’s boyish and...how did that smutty fic phrase it?

_Harnessing a promise of power?_

Whatever. Something like that.

Okay, he’s kind of hot.

Maybe he just gets off on talking to girls, making them giggle and mewl all over him on the train. Is anyone genuinely this sweet?

The train arrives at the next station, the doors part and as one of the higher traffic spots, the car nearly empties. Rey looks up to see the stranger step back to let a few passengers out first. Her face falls as she watches the stranger exit quickly and step onto the platform.

_Well, that went nowhere._

She looks outside to see him towering over the crowd. He turns and stops, glancing around him, his face confused. 

His eyes land on her in the car, unable to move her ass from the seat.

He frowns and allows his shoulders to slump, the disappointment clear on his face.

Rey gasps out loud when she realizes that he’s looking for her.

_Fuck. That was going somewhere._

Rey jumps up.

“Stand clear of the closing doors, please.” The automated voice over the speaker pipes into the car.

“No!” Rey runs to reach the doors.

Their eyes meet again as the doors shut in her face.

She tries not to bang her fist on the door, although later she’s not sure why she cares what he thinks. She’ll never see him again.

_Motherfucker._

He steps forward, moves to speak but stops himself. He shrugs and waves goodbye, a sad smile on his face.

She returns the wave. She forces herself back to her seat, trying to avoid smashing her face to the filthy window to watch him as the train pulls out.

_Son. Of. A. Bitch._

* * *

  
  


“Dude, that really sucks.”

Rey sighs and lays her head back with a loud groan.

“I know.”

Rose hops up and makes her way into the kitchen, the last 30 seconds of the story, punctuated by the oven timer going off. Rey covers her eyes to the sound of yet another pan slapping on the stovetop.

“So, Kay will be home in a few minutes. You still up for forcing me to buy a round at The Blue Rooster?”

Rey lifts her heads up and nods, letting it land again with a thud on the chair.

* * *

  
  


“Wait. So you’re telling me you had this romantic meeting with a guy on a train, and you did not get his number, his name...anything?”

“Kay, slow down. She’s aware of what happened, hence the weird face she keeps making every time she thinks about it.”

Rey sits with her head resting in her hand, nearly laying her forehead to the wooden bartop. After her fourth beer, she switched to water that she now drank sloppily from a straw.

“Ugh, stop.” Rey scrunches her face in distaste.

“Oh, hell no. You guys insist on coming to the place that I work on my night off to drink, so I get to ask whatever questions I want. Pretend I’m your bartender.”

“I just wish I would have spoken up. Said something. I always do that. Even with the good things. My salary at the interview.” Rose raises an eyebrow. “Then this guy who is nice, kind of charming, and fuck me, he’s hot. Like, really, really...you know how you see someone and you know you’re going to...like he will just be the star of my private time for...a while.”

“Private time?” Rose and Kaydel snicker into their drinks.

“You know? Private time. Me-time? Spank time,” she starts to giggle, “You know, masturbating.” She motions toward her crotch in shaky circles as Rose and Kaydel stare at her gesturing.

“Holy crap, you’re drunk. Let’s go home.” Rose glances at Kaydel, motioning for their things.

“Oh, shit! Rose. I’ll be right behind you guys. I have to go ask Poe about my shift tomorrow.”

Rey and Rose make their way toward the door.

“No worries. I’ll just tell her I have a cookie in my purse.”

Kaydel laughs and heads back behind the bar.

* * *

  
  


“Kay, you know I’d love to let you switch with Finn, but have you thought about the fact that I schedule you guys that way for a reason?”

“No one cares, Poe. Just let me switch, and you’ll have me all weekend.”

Poe leans towards her with a smirk.

“I’ll already have you all weekend…”

Kaydel snorts a laugh and pushes him away, rebuffing his efforts.

“Excuse me. I’m looking for a girl.”

Poe and Kaydel turn toward the man, clearly annoyed at the intrusion.

“Congrats, man. Just hang around for a little while and strike up a conversation. Can I get you anything else?” Poe places his hands on the bar, his posture making it clear that he’s not in the mood.

Kaydel moves away from Poe, throwing her jacket over her shoulder.

“Thanks for the night off, Poe!” She quickly runs towards the door.

“You owe me, Kay!”

“Sure, sure.” She runs out, a quick wave behind her.

Poe stands, arms crossed and looks at the cockblock in front of him.

“I’m sorry. I know this is unusual, but I was meeting someone here, and I didn’t get her name.”

Poe rolls his eyes and begins clearing glasses.

“Hey man, I’m guessing if she didn’t give you her name, she wasn’t interested in you knowing it. Let me buy you a drink and send you on your way.”

He wants him out, but the guy is huge. Pissing him off may not be the best idea. His regular bouncer isn’t in tonight.

“No, thank you. It’s not like that. The door. On the train. It shut before she could get out, or I thought she was getting out, but she wasn’t. She was supposed to be out celebrating with friends tonight at her neighborhood bar. I was hoping...damn.”

“Hey, Poe! I forgot my card.”

Poe looks over toward Rose, her hand outstretched towards the register, nearly bumping into the stranger.

“Oops. Sorry,” she says.

Poe reaches back and thumbs through a few cards placed in a tin box before he hands it over to Rose, waiting with her hand open. He pauses before he drops it.

“Wait. Who’s watching, Rey?”

“I am. She’s sitting down on the neighbor’s stoop telling me about the magical properties of boxed mac and cheese. She’ll keep for two minutes.”

“Alright, hurry home, Mom.”

“Shut up, Poe,” she rushes back out, “Sorry, tall dude!”

The guy taps his hand on the bar and looks up.

“Thanks for the drink offer. I’ve been to three different bars between my stop and what I’m only guessing is hers. Sorry for the interruption earlier. Have a good night.”

“Yeah, man. You too.” Poe watches him turn, and he just can’t help himself.

“Hey, man. Why don’t you leave your name and number? It’s kind of a shot in the dark, but who knows. Maybe at some point I’ll hear a girl complaining at the bar about a guy who’s name she doesn’t know. If she references the train, I’ll leave her your number.”

The stranger smiles and quickly grabs a business card, throwing it on the bar.

“I guess it couldn’t hurt.”

Poe flips the card over and quickly scribbles down: _Nameless girl. Train._

Poe watches him walk out the door.

_Poor bastard._

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's mind is reeling the next day from her brief encounter on the train. Her friends are helpful and not at all helpful. 
> 
> The hunt begins?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind the tags. I have a plan, but there are some things that will come up while I continue to work through some of the things I've already written.
> 
> There is also a brief mention of Rey's past in foster care, but nothing alluding to abuse, just crappy parents.
> 
> Thank you for reading :) I hope you enjoy.

Rey wakes up to the muffled sounds of their buzzing kitchen. It was easily her favorite and least favorite sound, depending on the day. 

Today. Her least favorite. Her head feels like she had it volunteered for that pinball machine in the back of Poe’s bar.

She could hear Rose and Kay moving through, laughing back and forth.

She sits up to the smell of coffee and feels her shoulders sway before she catches herself and allows her body to roll back down to the bed.

She closes her eyes and recounts the details from the previous day, smiling at her success with her interview and shoots up straight, staring at the door when she thinks of the ride home.

_Fuck._

_That really happened._

The remainder of the evening and her current state are no surprise as she clearly remembers her celebration becoming more of a venting session about how she could never quite say everything she needed to say. When she wanted to say it.

Her basic needs have always been met. Mostly.

Having been raised in the foster care system left Rey with the mindset of not needing more than what was required. If she was fed, okay. If she was safe, perfect. If she wasn’t happy, well, eventually she would be. 

She was always working toward something. But, sometimes...sometimes she just wanted to be able to throw something good out into the universe, say what she really needed, and let it come back to her in full force.

The stranger. The stupidly hot, sweet stranger. With his kind, curiosity and smile.

Rey rolled over, burying her face in her pillow.

If she could stop being so surprised when good things happened to her, she might be brushing her teeth with her fingers and toothpaste in the hot guy’s bathroom, instead of debating if she should vomit before or after her coffee.

Okay, so she’s not entirely sure that she would have spent the night, but it would have been a possibility.

She rolls to her back and flings her limbs out to stretch out fully into her bed. 

She closes her eyes and thinks about the details of his face, hair, and shoulders. She’s careful to linger on any fine details, because she doesn’t want to lose them. She needs to file them away, capture that feeling for a while longer.

She can see his arms, the sleeves of his shirt slightly straining as he held on tight. She can easily imagine the grip of that arm, tightly winding around her waist. His firm chest pressed up against her back as he holds her closer and whispers, “I’m so proud of you.”

The tip of his nose drawing a line from her temple down to the back of her ear.

Rey pauses in her thoughts and rolls her eyes when she feels her hand creeping down underneath her pajama pants. 

_Geez. Are you that hard up?_

She pauses her hand and stares at the tiny crack in the ceiling.

“Yes. Yes, I am,” she says out loud, forcing any shame out of her voice.

She shakes her head and closes her eyes, allowing her hand to drift down further.

She tries to focus, hold his face and voice in her mind. The way she could feel his eyes rest on her when she wasn’t looking, how his eyes had glanced over her body. Or did she just imagine that part? 

She imagines his powerful hands, the same ones gripping that handle for support on the train, gently caressing the tender skin on her inner thighs. Surely someone who spoke to her like that, had asked about her day, could be both. Powerful and gentle.

Rey lets her hand drift over her cotton underwear, circling above her folds, gently stroking herself. He would tease her, of course. He’d be eager to ask her how her day had been.

“How was your day,” he’d ask, smiling and watching the uneven rise and fall of her chest. He’d bury his face between her breasts, mouthing over the peaks, just to watch her nipples harden beneath her sleep shirt. “You look happy, Rey.”

“Yes,” she whispers out loud. She traces the line of her underwear, just like he might do, if he weren’t just a fantasy.

“You’re so wet.” She can picture him there, in his business casual clothes, his bag and jacket dropped to the floor. His sleeves rolled up, exposing his arms, flexed around her. Caging her underneath his frame. “I couldn’t wait, Rey. I couldn’t wait to devour you as soon as we got home. I wanted to celebrate. I’m so proud.”

“Do you wanna watch me? I’m going to play with my clit,” she says to him.

“You should definitely do that,” his words from the train play fresh in her mind.

“Okay. I think I will,” she smiles, her eyes closed, her fingers now teasing her folds. Her index finger plays through the wetness, she relishes the warmth. She circles her clit.

Her hips jerk with the attention. Her breath quickens slightly with the little bit of heat that she’s been building. She can see him smiling down at her fingers, her pace now faster with the heat of his gaze. He looks at her hungry, the shy boyish face from the train, now eager and ready to pounce. “Having a good day?” His low, mellow voice urging her forward.

“I am now,” she says, with a laugh. He smirks and watches as he makes a show of crawling his fingers up her leg, over her kneecaps. She shuffles her bottom and underwear down, clumsily, with one hand, her other hand still circling her clit. Her pace quickens at the thought of his fingers headed toward her pussy, the climb pure torture. She reaches down with her other hand, mimicking the slow tease of her opening. Her mouth falls open and she rolls her hips up into his hand.

“You look happy,” he says as he pumps his middle finger in, dragging slowly. She nods quickly, her pace on her clit becoming more frantic. God, she’s close.

“You look happy, Rey.”

“Rey.”

Rey shakes her head, trying to dismiss the banging sound.

“Rey. Are you happy,” he asks, pumping harder. His head dipping forward to kiss between her thighs. 

“Rey. Are you up?”

She bites her lip, squeezing her eyes to tune out any other noise.

“Rey!”

“Rey,” he pleads. His face falling. The same face from outside of the train window.

“FUCK ME,” she yells and then realizes her frustration could easily be construed as angry pleasure.

Silence. 

Rey slaps a hand to her forehead, before realizing her mistake and her need for clean hands.

“I’m...up, Kay,” she blurts out, wiping her hands on her sleep shirt and rolling her eyes at her error. 

“Uh. I’ll come back. Or not.” Rey can hear her feet pad down the hallway before she stops. “Oh, there’s coffee. Also, I’m pretty sure your shift starts in 15 minutes, so you should probably get up before Rose tries to murder you and bake you into a pie. That is a direct quote.”

* * *

  
  


Luckily, the neighborhood cafe is right next door and other than Rose, no one is really that concerned about whether she’s five or ten minutes late for her shift. She gets her work done, she helps them prep for the day, and then she starts her shift waiting tables during the lunch hour. It’s usually pretty busy with pickup orders, a few deliveries for Maz’s favorites, and people stopping in. She’s been here so long, she wonders how Maz will take the news that she’s leaving, but she knows that she will be happy. She practically raised their little group, fresh from high school and some through college. Encouraging, whip smart. Maz is a gift.

“You’re too late. Rosie already told me,” Maz stands toward the pastry counter, arms open. Rey leans down for a Maz hug, rolling her eyes through the kitchen window at Rose.

“What,” Rose shrugs, “She asked and you know I couldn’t keep that hidden.”

“Who cares, Rey? I know. I’m proud. I knew you would do it.”

“Thanks, Mazzy.” Rey moves to wrap her apron around her waist.

“So, you walked in there, wowed them, and got the salary you needed?”

“Mmm. Not exactly. I wowed, heard their offer, and practically stumbled over myself to accept, but it’s a starting position. I’ll work my way up.”

“Well, then go back and tell them what you need.”

“That’s what _I_ keep telling her,” Rose pokes her head through the lunch window.

“Rey, sometimes you have to tell people that you know your worth,” she reaches up and cups Rey’s chin.

“I know, Maz.” She grabs her wrist and gently tugs her hands away.

“And when hot guys approach you on the train and you want to chat them up, you should just put that out there, too. Know your worth, Rey,” Rose shouts.

“Hot guy? What hot guy?”

“Ugh, can we not,” Rey moans.

* * *

  
  


Once she’s done cleaning up from the lunch rush, she opens her phone to a text from Finn.

**Morning, Rey! Welcome to corporate HELL!!!! Mwahahaha.**

**Haha. Yeah, yeah.**

**Wait. What corporate hell? You’re at one of the coolest companies around?**

**Don’t you have a person there just designated to organize snacks?**

**Oh yeah...the snack lady.**

**How’s your day going?**

**Fine.**

**Rose told me about that guy.**

**I am going to end her…**

**LMAO**

**How IS corporate hell?**

  
  


**Fine. Boss is in a MOOD. Like. Came in grumpy and then stopped by my desk**

She waits a few minutes before his next response.

**Sorry. Boss coming out of his office.**

**Wanna go grab drinks later?**

**Yeah. There’s a place around the corner from you that lets me pick up a few shifts a week as a bartender, if you wanna meet up there.**

**That old place? Sure.**

**See you later.**

**Don’t piss off your boss.**

**Whatever. I’m thinking of setting him up. I think he needs to get laid. Wanna step up?**

**Nope.**

**Selfish.**

  
  


She closes her phone and throws it in her back pocket.

* * *

  
  


“Hey, Finn! Can you run specs on that job from last week,” his boss asks, running his hands through his hair.

“Yeah, sure, Ben.”

Finn takes the folder from him and returns to his work at his desk, remembering to shout back as Ben heads back to his office space.

“Oh, yeah. Faz was asking for you earlier. Did she find you?”

Ben turns and glances back at Finn, a curious look in his eye. He walks towards Finn and stops short at his desk, hesitating.

Finn looks up, his boss looming over his seat.

“You okay, Ben,” he asks.

Ben starts and then stops.

“Do you ever ask girls out on the subway?”

Finn and Ben both stare at each other. Finn looks around to see if anyone else heard Ben speak.

“Uh. No. I have a girlfriend.”

Ben laughs and shakes his head, realizing the awkwardness of his question.

“No. Okay. I met a girl. Okay, I didn’t meet her. She was really...pretty. She had this amazing smile. I feel...I mean, I felt...happy when I looked at her just sitting there grinning.”

“Yeah,” Finn shakes his head, realizing his boss may be asking him for dating advice, “that’s cool. So, did you ask her out?”

Ben paces in short steps next to Finn’s desk.

“Well, I mean. I was trying not to be weird. Is that a strange place to approach a stranger and ask them out? I wasn’t sure what to expect from her response.”

“Oof. Sorry. That’s tough,” Finn reponds, hands busy at his desk, unsure how to close the conversation.

“Solo, good. You aren’t hiding.”

“Don’t even think about it, Faz. I have to leave by 4pm today,” Ben heads off to his office space with Faz close on his heels.

Finn stops and looks out at the open tables, standing desks, and bouncy seats. Did no one hear that conversation? Seriously? 

His boss just asked for dating advice.

_Poor bastard._

* * *

  
  


Rey follows Rose and Kay down the street, their laundry carts bouncing over the curb, as they make their way to the apartment.

“Hurry up, bitches! I’ve got dough to make,” Rose shouts back.

Rey laughs and she tugs her cart past the pile of grey snow stacked on the sidewalk. Her eyes follow the cracks and details of the curb, lost in the events of the last twenty four hours, as she walks.

She was really fortunate. She had really good, caring friends. Annoying and nosy, but well meaning. Loving. She had Maz, who was more a mother to her than her own parents had been. 

She had known Finn since they had met in the system, then came roommate and now best friend, Rose. Then came Kay, then came Finn and Rose meeting, then came Kay’s boyfriend, Poe.

They were her family, but sometimes, she wanted a life outside of that family unit. Someone she could tell about her crappy childhood, without feeling like they had experienced it with her. Someone who would need to learn that she never put the toilet paper roll on the holder. Someone who didn’t look at her like she was the friend, the sister, the lost daughter they never had. 

She wanted someone to look at her like they had stars in their eyes. 

And that guy. 

The curious, subway stranger had stars. Bright stars, dripping with silver in his eyes. And if she was honest, dammit, she couldn’t believe that it had all happened in one single day. To her. She was so tired of the idea of sometime, someone, or someday.

Why couldn’t she just say what she needed? What she wanted?

“I want to find that guy,” she says, out loud.

Rose and Kaydel stop in their tracks, turning to look over their shoulders at her.

“What,” Rose responds.

“I wanna find him. That guy. It can’t be too hard, right?”

Rose and Kaydel glance between them, then back to Rey.

“I mean, yes and no,” Kay offers.

They turn around and drag their carts back toward where Rey stands, frozen with her eyes focused on the ground, like she’s forming a plan in her mind.

“I think I should find him. Or at least try. Maybe I can just ride the train at the same time of day for a while...and then get off at his stop,” she shrugs and looks at her friends. “That’s not crazy, right?”

“Well, it depends on how serious this search becomes,” Rose answers, carefully stepping in front of Rey.

“I think it’s romantic, Rey,” Kaydel says, patting her on the arm.

“Okay,” Rey looks down and shoves her cart towards Kaydel. “Kay, please take my cart up for me.”

Rey takes off running in the direction of the station.

“Rey, what the hell,” Rose yells after her, “Where are you going?”

Rey turns, skipping between people and yells back. “If I leave now, I will have enough time to go to his stop.”

* * *

  
  


They watch her turn back around.

“Is she texting and trying to cross the street at the same time,” Kaydel says.

Rose pulls her phone from her pocket.

“She just sent me a text,” Rose rolls her eyes and shows the message to Kaydel.

  
  


**Be back. Get laundry pls.**

**Omg rey come back**

  
  


  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: I had a friend that worked for a tech company for years and they legitimately had a designated "snack lady". Her job was to organize events for the employees and their families as well as keep everyone happy at work...and pick out snacks. I consistently asked if that position was open.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has a plan.
> 
> Rey reaches a new peak.
> 
> Rey starts work.
> 
> Will the elusive stranger please show up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone who has read and sent love by way of kudos, bookmarks, comments, and the subscribe button!
> 
> Also, I approach so many things...with humor...sometimes too much. My apologies in advance. I promise I know how to have a serious conversation.
> 
> Also, is self-praise kink a thing?
> 
> Thank you for reading :)

For nearly a week, Rey keeps a routine of random trips in and out of Manhattan in between her shifts at the cafe. At first, she tries simply making sure she’s on the train around the same time, not considering that just staying in the same car won’t do her much good. She gets off at his stop...or what she assumes is his stop at Queensboro Plaza. She sits through much of the rush hour, trying to look like she has a reason for scanning the crowd that exits the train.

The next day, she decides that between Times Square and Queensboro Plaza, she will get off and right back on, entering a new car at each stop, hoping to catch him entering another car.

This tactic proves to be exhausting, not only physically as she pushes through the passengers, but mentally as well. At one of the stops, she finds herself unable to get in the next car over, pushed back by the crowds. She misses her train. She spends the next five minutes wondering if maybe he was on that very train. 

She calls it for the day and heads home.

On the fourth day, Rey tries the exit and enter tactic again and realizes that she’s seen many of the same people over and over again. She recognizes the N train bird lady, her feathery, white hair and sleek, pointed nose. 

She looks like a cartoon chicken. 

Sunglass guy? He wears sunglasses. Dark sunglasses that he never takes off. 

Also, the kid that’s either too young to be out skipping class or too old to be dressing like he’s in high school. 

He’s the Eternal Infant. 

She shrugs. She’s not really good at picking out nicknames.

She watches them all file in and out. She starts to take stock of their mannerisms, their habits. She becomes curious about where they are headed everyday. Do they have families? Are they from the city? Did they come here looking to figure their shit out? Are they stuck? Do they realize that they could just buy a cloth bag instead of carrying that one paper bag from Nordstrom back and forth?

She feels herself slump against the door.

Have _they_ ever spent the day chasing down a complete stranger they kind of met on a train? 

She frowns.

_Okay. Multiple days._

And in all of this wandering and wondering. In all of the mess of seeing these same people flood her day to day, she has yet to catch even a glimpse of anyone resembling her stranger.

The thought crosses her mind that maybe he didn’t live around here. Maybe he was simply on the train to meet friends. Maybe he’s not even from the city all.

Her mind swirls and she watches the thoughts collect and shift down an endless drain. She stares at the floor. She finds herself memorizing the light patterns, scuff marks, and tracks left there by muddy shoes. 

She feels her body, weightless and bouncing with the movement of the train car and before she knows it she hears the announcement for her next stop. 

She looks around in disbelief.

She’s wasted a ride. 

She gets out at Queensboro Plaza to wait on the bench at the platform. She sits and sees new faces, old faces, happy faces, tired faces, but not a _single one_ resembling the one she wants to see most.

When she feels her stomach rumbling, she waits for the next train to bring her to her stop. As she watches the doors open, she finds it difficult to stand and take a step inside.

A woman sees her standing in front of the door and tilts her head to watch as Rey eyes the doors, allowing it to close her out.

She slowly melts down the steps and empties out onto the street below with the other passengers and takes the walk home.

* * *

  
  
  


That evening, Rey returns to her apartment, disappointed, but not defeated. 

The walk home had been slightly longer than she had anticipated, but worthwhile. She realizes that she needed the fresh air away from the NYC transit system to renew her sense of purpose. 

She travels up the flight of steps, smashes her key into the door, and practically falls into the warm space. Keys on the dusty table, her damp coat on the chair, she hears voices in the kitchen come to a halt.

“I’m alive,” she says in jest, making her way towards the smell of warm bread.

Rose and Kaydel stand, leaning up against the counter, each with a glass of wine. 

They say nothing, watching and waiting. They were clearly discussing her recent adventures. The air was thick with the smells of more bread and nervous tension, directed at her.

She attempts to break it.

“So, I found him,” she says. Their eyes widen. “And it turns out that he was actually trying to get me to join a gym.” She smiles. “Or an MLM. I didn’t stay for the whole presentation.”

Rose and Kaydel groan as Rey grabs a large, fluffy yeast roll from the slowly growing pile on their tiny kitchen table.

Kaydel walks toward Rey and wraps her in a hug.

“Rey, I still think it’s romantic, but it’s also a little...concerning.” She makes a face and Rey sticks out her tongue. Kaydel kisses her forehead and heads toward the door, throwing her jacket on.

“Get some sleep,” she says to Rey. “Don’t wait up. I’m staying at Poe’s. See you in the morning,” Kaydel says. “You know. Unless you’ve joined a gym.” 

Rey laughs as Kaydel swings the door open to leave. She grabs her nearly empty glass and chugs the rest.

Rey turns her eyes toward Rose, not disappointed in the look on her face. Though she’ll never know for sure, she thinks that this is what it must have been like to have sisters growing up.

“Oh my God, don’t encourage her,” Rose yells after Kaydel. 

_Or...a Mom and a sister._

She looks at Rey and takes a swig of her wine.

“Rose.”

Rose turns her back on Rey and resumes whatever she was working on before Rey showed up. 

“I’m doing homework. I have my bread work, and I don’t need you fucking it up.”

“That sort of rhymed, Rosie.”

Rey stands next to her by the counter, not allowing her any space, attempting to get a laugh. 

“Rey,” she stops and looks at Rey, “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” Rey answers quickly, grabbing at another curious bread roll resting on the corner of the table.

“Awesome. Now that you’ve gotten that out of your system. Are you really okay, because... _Rey_ , I’m worried about you.”

“I know. It’s weird,” she sighs. “I get it.” She chews thoughtfully on yet another roll. 

“Have you considered that he might be...weird? Or terrible?”

“Yes, actually, I have, but how would that be any different from any other date that I could go on in this city?”

Rose moves to the sink, slowly and thoughtfully. 

Rey _loves_ this move. 

This move was called _Rose Has Something to Say._ Whenever she was ready to sway you, she would move to a mundane task and make her case. Rey knew it well and in anticipation, sat down at the table, ready.

“Do you remember that guy that we thought was muttering dirty things to us on the train?” She lowers her voice, her worst attempt at a thick New York accent. “Uh. Hey girl. I wanna lick your pussy. I’m gonna make you scream when I come over there. Your tits are mine.”

“Oh, yeah. Is that the day that we decided to go to Coney Island? That was a dumb idea.”

This was Rey’s favorite game along with the move. This game was called _Rey Tries Things to Piss Rose Off._

“Yeah, yeah, but remember,” she says, not deterred, “We were creeped out and ready to report him. Then it turned out that he had very nice earbuds in, and he was talking to his girlfriend.”

“Yeah, that was strange.” Rey scrunches her face at the memory.

“What if this guy is like that?”

Rey looks down and thinks for a second. She tries to imagine those words coming out of her stranger’s mouth.

_Rey, I wanna lick your pussy. Rey, I’m gonna make you scream when I come over there._

Her eyes grow wide.

“Oh my God, Rose. That would be AMAZING!”

Rose throws her hands up, clearly annoyed.

“No!”

Rey cackles at her friend’s obvious displeasure and exasperation.

“Rey, be serious.” She crosses her arms over her chest.

“I’ve thought about it. I promise.” 

Rey throws her head back and looks up to the ceiling before looking back at Rose. 

“Rey, you know I want you to go for it. I begged you for a year to ask out that guy that kept coming into the cafe to see you,” she says. She throws the dish towel over her shoulder and sits next to Rey. “Our neighbor that used to work out in front of the living room window who was obviously picking times when he thought you might be coming home from work.”

Rose looks around, and Rey can see her friend. Her protective, beautiful, fierce friend. Always cheering. Always in her corner. She reaches out to take Rose’s hands, neatly trimmed nails caked with flour. Rose looks at their hands and looks up at Rey.

“I want you to go for it. To find love. To be happy. I just don’t understand why _this_ guy and why you have to go through all of this, making yourself crazy. Rey, you’ve been riding the train for days.” Rose leans toward her, looking for some reaction from Rey. “ _Rey_ , you’re a train lady. You're just a trash bag of Beanie Babies away…”

“How dare you mock Kaydel’s friend,” Rey says quietly.

Rose cracks a smile, and they both look at each other.

Rey looks back down, thinking about the walk home from the station. She feels the same stifling feeling come over her when she thinks of her earlier revelations. Before she allows herself to hold back, she lets it flow out from her, giving them space.

“I’m just ready to not hesitate so much.” She stares out into the kitchen, visualizing, seeing the doors close in her face. “It felt like this big...moment,” her voice grows louder, the words picking up speed, “Like it had just passed me by. I wanted to take it back. I wanted a do over.” She punctuates the last statement, with a small slam of her fists to the table. There is an air of petulance to her tone.

Rose looks back at her, a sympathetic smile on her face.

“Yeah,” she sits back looking at Rey, “I can see how that would be a big deal.”

Rey leans forward, her hands flat on the table. She looks down, searching.

“If I could find him, maybe the mystery would be over. I’d get the chance to meet someone who seems genuinely interested in me, and then I’d have the triumph of not feeling like I sat back and did nothing.”

“That makes sense,” Rose says, reassuringly.

“Yeah?” Rey glances at Rose, looking eagerly for her understanding.

“Yeah,” she says, gently. She looks down and back up at Rey. “You know what doesn’t make sense?” She purses her lips, a frown creasing her brow. “You, leaving me with your poorly folded laundry to haul up three flights of stairs while you run off into traffic. Texting.”

“I was really proud of that,” she laughs and then covers her eyes, a hint of embarrassment.

“Don’t be. It both terrified and angered me.” Rose gently punches Rey on the arm. “Careful. All of this kneading. I’m going to have some major guns by the time this is all over.” 

She flexes and then hops up to check the oven. When all seems well, she pauses her steps.

“Rey. If you really want to try and make something happen, why not call your new boss tomorrow morning and ask about your salary?” 

Rey takes a generous bite of the most recent unfinished roll and nods.

“Seriously. Start there. Do that...and maybe other things will start to fall into place.”

Rey picks up her phone and pulls up the contact information for her new boss. Her direct line. 

She stares at it thoughtfully and then lays her phone down.

“Oh, and text Finn. He said you owe him company at the bar.”

She picks her phone back up.

**I hear that I’ve been summoned.**

**I’m bored.**

**Save meeeeeee.**

* * *

  
  


“Finn?”

Finn slowly turns at the sound of a familiar voice.

“Oh. Hey, Ben.” He’s not sure how to behave seeing his boss outside of work. His super serious, quiet, and meticulous boss. In a bar. His bar. Where he works. In addition to his current job.

“Hey,” Ben says with a double take round the bar. “Do you work here?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Are we not paying you enough,” Ben says, an attempt at a joke. Realizing he may have made an error, he waves an apologetic hand. “Sorry. Terrible joke.”

“Nah, it’s okay. Actually, I worked here before I got the job, and they’ve let me do one or two shifts a week. The extra is nice. Mostly weekends though,” he hurries to say. “Nothing is allowed to interfere with my work. Our work.” He gestures between the two of them.

Finn watches Ben twist his mouth into a frown.

“You know, Finn, you’ve done some great work for us. I’m sure that will come up when I give my review in the coming months,” he says looking up.

Finn smiles and nods. “Thanks. That’s good to hear. Do you want another?”

Ben looks down at his nearly empty drink and shakes the glass a little. Finn watches him eye the bits of ice collected at the bottom.

“No,” he looks around, “I should probably head out soon.”

“Sure.” Finn watches his boss’ guarded expression, the way he carefully folds the cocktail napkin in front of him. He doesn’t want to pry, but he can tell. Whatever he may have thought of Ben Solo previously, he’s not an asshole. 

Finn hesitates, but decides to cross a bridge.

“You know, the past several days, I was convinced you were sneaking out early for a meeting, a hot date with that girl, or even something slightly more scandalous. I didn’t realize you were leaving work early to come and hang out in a shitty bar in Queens.”

Ben looks up and chuckles a bit. Finn lets out a breath, slowly. Hopefully, he could take a chance and return Ben’s terrible joke from earlier.

“Not exactly.”

Finn tries not to pry, but can’t help himself as he sees the confused and lost expression on his boss’ face.

“Do you need me to be your bartender tonight? I promise, on my honor as a bartender, whatever you say at this bar will never be uttered out loud,” he says, hand on his heart.

They look at each other and start to laugh, easy, almost a friendly spirit passing between the two.

“Is it about a girl,” Finn asks with a slight grimace. He’s not sure if he wants to know about Ben’s personal life, beyond the fact that he has one.

“Yes,” Ben says, “Or no. It’s about seizing opportunities when they come. Not hesitating.”

Finn frowns.

“Is this about that girl? The one that turned you down?”

“Well…”

“FINN,” Kaydel calls from the kitchen, “I’m going to drop this!”

Finn looks at Ben and offers an apologetic smile. He runs to catch up with Kaydel, two cases of wine stacked in her arms.

“Do you have a death wish,” Finn grabs a case, heading back behind the bar.

“Nope. Just trying to see if you remembered that you needed to stock the bar before you left this evening.”

“Kay, why are you dating Poe if you’re not bothering to get us out of doing the lame stuff.”

Kay stands there with the box jerking her chin forward.

“What,” Finn stands looking at her, annoyed, “Why are you nodding like that? What is that?”

He mimics her, bobbing his head. She rolls her eyes at him.

“Your friend,” she gestures toward the door, with a swing of the box.

Finn looks up in time to see Ben walking down the street. He glances toward his chair and sees enough cash to pay his tab, plus a generous tip.

“Who was that guy?”

He sighs and begins to unpack the boxes. 

“My boss, actually.”

“Oh yeah,” she stands, hands on her hips, looking out toward his exit. “He looks familiar. Kind of cute.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why did he look like he sat in the pee seat on the subway?”

Finn smirks.

“He just got dumped,” he stands and shakes his head, “No. He got turned down. I don’t know. Either way. He’s kind of known around work as this workaholic, uptight asshole, but...I don’t think that’s it. I think he’s having a rough day, but he was cool about me working here. Even praised the work I was doing.”

“I don’t know why. You’re a terrible bartender.”

Finn pouts and squints at her.

“Not here. At my _real_ job.”

Kaydel laughs and continues to look outside the window, people watching.

“That sucks for him. Poor…”

“Dammit,” Finns says at the sound of a wine bottle crashing to the floor.

Kaydel walks off in the direction of the utility closet.

“I’ll help you,” she says as she walks off in the direction of the utility closet. “Luckily, I think the tip that guy left you should cover the cost of that bottle.”

  
  


* * *

**You left me at the bar last night.**

**Sorry.**

**It’s okay. My boss came by and kept me company.**

**Wait.**

**What?**

  
  


**Yeah. It was...weird.**

**Sorry I missed that.**

**It was okay.**

**It was actually interesting. I think I’m starting to like him a bit more. He seems almost**

**Human**

**Sort of.**

**I think he’s heartbroken over some girl**

**Sure I can’t set you two up?**

**I’m good thanks. Got heartbreaj of my own**

***heartbreal**

***heartbreal**

**Fml...heartbreak**

**No sign of that guy?**

**…**

  
  


**This is why you should have come by…**

**I needed to get some rest.**

**You’ll find it, Rey.**

**Whatever you’re looking for.**

**And we will be there cheering you on.**

**Shut up.**

**I love you, too.**

  
  


* * *

Once Rey finishes her last shift at Maz’s, she makes a show of putting her apron away, humming a dramatic theme and hanging it on the rung by the back door. Maz reminds her of how many of them that she’s lost and threatens to bill her for all of them if she even thinks about never stopping in and telling Maz everything that’s going on in her life.

She runs out the door, waving goodbye to Rose and Maz, heading back to her apartment.

Once inside, she throws her belongings on the floor, the couch...and the dusty entry table before shutting herself in her room. She sits at the edge of her bed with her phone in hand. She opens the screen to hunt for her new boss’ contact info and decides that she needs to feel clean, before she can take herself seriously for this conversation.

She throws her phone down on her bed and quickly showers, realizing by the end that she is lingering too long, letting the water run cold.

She’s nervous. Of course she is.

Wrapped in her towel, dripping water on the floor, she forces herself to make the call.

She climbs into her bed, scooting to the middle and picks up her phone. She finds the number on her phone and again, stares at the contact.

Rey takes a breath and taps the screen. She thinks about what she told Rose. Missed opportunities, do overs, even the chase of the last week. 

The line rings and Rey ignites a fire.

* * *

  
  


The conversation was shorter and sweeter than Rey could have imagined.

She may have spoken a bit loudly. She may have rushed her practiced speech. She may have even forgotten to breathe once she got started, but she made her point to her boss. She was honest.

She didn’t get everything she wanted, but they felt her offer was reasonable. In the end, they agreed to sign a new contract. This new proposal would speed up her raise after a probationary period. They would iron out any other details in the first week.

Rey hung up feeling more powerful and bold than she had ever anticipated. Maybe it was a lack of air from holding everything in during the phone call, but she felt tapped into the blood flowing in her veins, the small hairs on her arms began standing up.

She knew she should call Rose to give her the opportunity to say “I told you so”, but she just wanted this moment, right here, for herself.

She shrieks from joy and throws herself back on her bed, letting her towel fall open.

She feels the cool air hit her exposed breasts, stomach, and thighs. The inclination strikes and she brings her knees up slowly as she smiles to test the same feeling on her pussy, letting her knees fall open.

The warmth of her center combined with the cool air causes a small shiver. She feels the goosebumps on her legs, not from the air, but from what she’s about to accomplish.

She takes her hands and gently caresses from the hollow of her throat to her sternum and down to her nipples. She circles and gently tugs, feeling them harden beneath her hands. She plays here for a minute, enjoying the time to worship her own body. 

She feels her pussy clench, the wet heat awakening and flooding her, shielding her from exposure to the air in her room. With one hand idly teasing a nipple, she allows the other to drift down to her folds, parting them and tracing her fingers along the lips. She notices the soft, delicate skin covered in the coarse, silky curls before she allows her index finger to slowly dip inside. 

She thrills and feels a gentle twist in her spine at the feeling of her wet, warm pussy.

Her body hums in anticipation.

She slowly begins to circle her clit. A few quick circles. One slow. Two quick. Three slow. She continues this way on a mission to stoke a bigger fire.

She causes her hips to dance, occasionally lifting from the mattress.

She begins a steady and torturous pace. 

Her head begins to sink into the pillow, relaxing in the slow build. She becomes comfortable, set for the next few minutes. As her inhibitions begin to fade, she pictures him.

God, if he only had a name.

The tall, strong stranger. Curious, subway stranger. Sweet, thoughtful. Sexy. Hungry.

Strong arms, beautiful chest held captive by his button up shirt.

She smiles again at the tight grip of his arm, strong hands. 

His eyes. Haunting her.

In her mind, he is _begging_ for her attention and she just keeps touching her body. Stoking her own fire.

“You wanna come along for the ride,” she says to him, out loud. She sees him nod.

“You look so happy, Rey,” he responds. She throws her head back and laughs. The mere thought of him watching her, causing her pussy to respond.

She applies a bit more pressure.

She can imagine him standing there at the edge of her bed. He motions to sink in next to her, but she stops him.

“No,” she says. “No touching. I’ve got this.” She smiles, mischievously. 

He doesn’t look disappointed. He trusts her. He’s happy to be a witness.

She can hear him softly ask, plead. 

_Spread your legs more._

_Lift your knees._

_Show me._

_Look at me._

_You look so beautiful._

_Touch your tits. That’s right, like that._

All the while, she doesn’t allow him to touch her. All the while, she continues to pleasure herself. She feels the ebb and flow from touching her clit. As she senses her peak approach, she slows down to a mind-numbing pace. She doesn’t allow herself to get there _just_ yet, but she knows when she does, it will be worth the wait.

She’s worth the wait.

She picks up again. He watches, bites his lip at the sight of her complete control over him, herself. She feels the wave approach, but she holds off.

_Almost. Not yet._

She knows that she won’t be able to hold herself back again.

“You’re such a good girl, Rey. I’m so proud of you,” she can hear him say.

“Are you happy, Rey? I wanna make you happy.” Her legs begin to shake as she begins to lose herself in his voice and his smile. She wants him there, but she’s not ready to give up.

She quickly takes the reins back from her own fantasy.

“I _am_ a good girl. Such a good girl.” She tugs her breasts. She rubs harder, reaching for more of the wetness in her pussy. She coats her clit in the slickness.

“I’m fucking amazing.” The words slip out and she shutters and her limbs shake from the excitement. He won’t touch, but he hovers there, eager. So needy.

“You’re such a good…” 

“Yes! I _am a good girl,”_ she grunts out. “I’m fucking brilliant!”

She moves faster, circling up and down, playing and teasing. She sees the peak, so close, and recognizes the point of no return. Her body acknowledges the feeling, but her head and her heart feel frantic. The anticipated relief is terrifying.

She allows him to be silent, watching her and forges ahead.

Her hips begin pressing higher and higher toward the ceiling, flopping up and down. Chaotic.

She climbs higher and higher, when she hears him again. Sees him, that same curious grin from the train.

“Come for me, Rey,” he says. 

She laughs. 

She jerks the reins one more time and cries out.

“No! I’m coming for _me,”_ she screams.

As she says the words, she’s aware of the hand on her nipple, the one at her clit, her lips forming the words, and the pleasure shot that she just sent to her brain.

She feels like she disappears entirely and comes back to earth, stroking her clit through the end of her orgasm.

She allows her body to flop down completely, exhausted. Beads of sweat forming on her forehead.

She sighs out in heat, in relief. She twists the bedding in her hands and sits up. 

She smiles, almost drunk on the pleasure. Fed by the power.

She looks around her room, already looking for the next thing to conquer. 

She feels the slow trickle of wetness from between her legs.

Her eyes fall on the towel beneath her from her shower.

She smirks.

_Convenient._

* * *

  
  


Rey begins her first week at work. 

Rose and Kaydel were thrilled when she told them about the phone call. Rose was less thrilled when she tried to tell them about her revelatory sexual experience in her room.

Rey only thought it fair to preach the gospel of the self-help orgasm.

_“Rose, seriously. It’s better than therapy.”_

She is so busy going over new contracts, meeting fellow employees, and trying to keep up with the structure of the new company, she doesn’t think about her stranger.

She doesn’t think about him at all when a coworker asks what train she normally takes to get home. She doesn’t think about him when they mention that they have family off of the Queensboro Plaza stop. She also _does not_ think about him while grinning at her fresh office space when her boss says with a wide, encouraging grin, “Are you happy, Rey?”

The last one left her boss slightly concerned when they were unable to discern the slightly horrified look on her face.

Other than the few mentions, she doesn’t really have much time to dwell on him or his whereabouts, until she finds herself back on the train, heading home for the day along with the other rush hour commuters. 

She debates whether she should get off at his stop, but she decides to head home.

* * *

It’s not that she’s avoiding looking for him.

She’s still looking.

But, ever since her call to the office, ever since that...revelation in her bedroom. She’s not desperate for an answer. 

She thinks.

She wears this false sense of pride to her new job, to Maz’s for a quick recount of her first few days. Even at home where she watches Rose do research on sugar flowers. 

She gets distracted, staring at the proposals for all of the ornate works and wonders how much she will piss her off if she actually eats one of those creations.

Better to ask for forgiveness than permission?

She doesn’t mention the stranger, her strange quest, and she hopes no one else will try and bring it up.

She has a few days to feel comfortable, to wait until she’s convinced that she has not a care in the world.

And then. She sees him.

Or.

She thinks she sees him.

Because, surely. It’s him.

She convinced Rose to help her pick out something more presentable for work. They both agreed that her first few paychecks couldn’t wait if she wanted to be the polished badass that asked for a raise a mere three days before her first day of work.

Rey feels a bit giddy and carefree with arms weighed down with treasures. Two pairs of new shoes, a great blazer, a great pencil skirt. 

They hop on the train, Rey laughing at Rose as she talks about something ridiculous Finn had said. She thinks about the life that she has sculpted out of nearly nothing. She finds her heart swelling with pride at the day, what she’s accomplished.

The train is loud, the occupants are buzzing in conversatio, and Rey feels like the air has been sucked out. That maybe they’ll just go on this ride, floating.

As they approach the stranger’s stop, Rey feels a familiar tug. Her hand lifted, holding on to keep herself steady, she looks out at the platform. 

The doors open, the burst of cold air hitting her face, she watches a flood of passengers exit. 

In the sea of heads, she sees him.

She squints.

Maybe.

Dark hair, tall.

Does he wear glasses? She doesn't know.

Her feet leave the floor and she bolts for the door. She hears Rose behind, hot on her heels.

“Rey, this isn’t…,” Rose calls out to her, “Rey! What are you doing?”

Rey looks in the direction that he was headed and runs to reach the exit. She pushes and tries to avoid running anyone over.

“Rey!”

Rey looks back at Rose, panic on her face. She can’t form the words. She can feel the tears rising up in the corners of her eyes. She feels herself reaching out to her friend, several steps back. Rose's face softens from confusion to recognition.

She smiles at Rey and nods in encouragement.

“Keep going, Rey! I’m right behind you.”

Rey smiles with gratitude at her friend before turning back. She finds a somewhat clear path between the bodies cloaked in thick winter gear and forges ahead.

She pushes, dragging and tugging her bags behind her, finally finding her way to the street. 

It feels like all of Queens has been dumped out onto the city sidewalk. She looks around, desperate for any hint of him.

Rose joins her, looking at Rey and then out to the streets.

“Did you see which direction he went?”

Rey puts her head down and shakes her head. She glances back at Rose for some sign that she’ll be worried, but Rose is looking for him, too. She smiles, relief and more gratitude for her support.

She begins to look around again. She takes off down the street, hoping to get a better view. She finds her resolve easily crumbling with each step and she stops, nearly causing Rose to crash into her backside.

She turns in the opposite direction, tears now streaking her face. She passes Rose who follows closely behind.

“Rey, let’s go this way and just wander around a bit. Maybe…”

Rey stops and turns to face her. She shakes her head and mouths a quiet, “No”.

Rose approaches her and lays a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“It’s okay. We can keep looking.”

Rey presses her lips together, trying to force back any additional tears.

“No. Let’s just go home.”

* * *

  
  
  


She walks toward the station, her steps swift and heavy, Rose at her side. Neither of them say a word as they swipe their cards and make their way to the platform.

Rey stands for a moment before finding a bench close by and sits. Something about the comfort of being at rest for a moment causes the tears to flow. Rose sits with her patiently as at least two trains pass, holding her hand. Standing guard as she falls apart. She can feel the cool air cause her chest to ache as she sucks in a large breath, releasing it in a quick huff. 

She breathes in, pauses, and breathes out. 

“I thought that when I finally went for it and said something, that it would happen.”

Rose looks out thoughtfully. She looks at Rey and squeezes her hand a bit.

“It doesn't always work out that way.” Rose brushes her hair from her face, handing Rey a crumpled tissue from her purse. She sits back towards her side of the bench and places her hands on her lap, allowing Rey some space.

“But now that you are finally doing it, I think it’s going to start working out a _hell_ of a lot more often.”

Rey smiles through her tears as they fall steadily down her cheeks. She releases a shuddering breath that she watches sputter in motion in front of her from the cold.

“Are you okay, Rey?”

“Yeah, Mom,” Rey looks at Rose out of the corner of her eye and smiles. Rose rolls her eyes and nudges Rey’s shoulder in reassurance.

Rey looks out at the long lines of the tracks, the skyline of the city off in the distance. She smiles back at her friend, eyes red and face blotchy. She nods.

“Yeah. I think I’m going to be okay. I’m disappointed, but it feels good, other than that.”

“Other than the crushing disappointment of not having bagged that hot guy?” Rose smiles, knowingly urging her friend back into their normal back and forth.

“Fuck, Rose. Yes. That totally sucks. You’re the worst,” she leans into her and accepts a hug.

The sound of the train approaching causes Rose to sit up. She holds out her hand to Rey.

“Well, now that you’ve had that catharsis. Come on. Drinks are definitely on me.”

She watches Rose stand. She can’t move. Her head aches a bit, her heart still feels heavy, and she finds herself needing a bit more space to allow the disappointment to live. Let it breathe, so she can begin to let it go.

“Actually, I think I just want to sit here for a minute. I’ll be there soon,” she says as she pats her friend on the arm, pushing her along.

“I just need to cry ugly tears for a few minutes before I join everyone.”

Rose narrows her eyes toward her and then nods. She takes the bags out of Rey’s hands and begins to walk, ready for the doors to open.

“Okay. I got these. I’ll drop this by the apartment, and if I don’t hear from you in 15 minutes to let me know that you’re on your way, I will be coming back to get you.”

Rey folds her arms like a child and pouts.

“Is that a promise?” She can barely hold it without laughing. 

Rose smiles, but looks at her, really looks at her.

“I love you, Rey.”

“Fine, fine,” Rey pushes her away from the bench. “I love you, too,” she calls, watching as Rose waves her hand back in acknowledgement.

She watches as Rose boards the train, feeling relief as the doors close.

* * *

“It’s not that hard to meet people,” Poe says as he wipes down the bartop. The usual crew, minus Rey, has gathered. 

Rose scowls at his words.

“Yes, it is,” she says, sitting back in her chair. She’s emptying her first beer.

“Nah, you just have to know where to look,” Finn says, with a wink and a sweet pat to her knee.

She dismisses the gesture, annoyed at his words.

“And where is that? Think about it. We’re all paired up and where did we meet our significant others? Work or through friends,” she shoots back.

“Fair,” Poe says with a shrug.

“So, I kind of get her obsession with this dude. Someone she doesn’t know. Something random that happened. I mean, it’s romantic," Rose says, defending Rey. Finn smiles at her in admiration and a bit surprised at her stance. 

“I think that’s cute,” he says, resting his hand on her knee.

He looks back to his beer, his hand still resting on hers. He stares at the glass, puzzled. He throws back the rest.

“If only it was a better place to meet people. The transit system does seem to be causing a lot of heartache these days. I’m pretty sure my boss tried to pick up a girl on the train and it went...terribly,” Finn laughs, placing his empty glass in front of Poe. Poe pauses and stares down at the glass before removing it. He seems lost in his own puzzle as he grabs a fresh one and fills it, passing it back to Finn.

“I hadn’t thought about that,” he says.

“What,” Kay says, trying to work out the look on his face.

He grabs his chin in one hand, rubbing back and forth. He looks at Kaydel.

“The train. We had a guy in here weeks ago asking for a girl. At the time, I was pretty sure she was trying to blow him off, but now that you made that connection...”

“Wait, when was that,” Kaydel asks.

“Remember, Kay,” he smiles at her, “You were trying to ruin the beautiful schedule I had put together and that random guy came into the bar to meet the girl, but he wasn’t really meeting her, he was just hoping to run into her while she was celebrating.”

“Wait. Celebrating,” Rose repeats, shooting up in her seat.

“Yeah.”

Rose leans forward, eager and on the hunt.

“Poe, was that the same night that we came in after Rey’s interview?”

“No.”

“Yes, it was, Poe,” Kaydel says enthusiastically, catching Rose’s line of thought. They smile and begin to bounce with excitement.

“Oh my God, do you think that was the same guy,” Rose asks, looking at Kaydel. They nod and grab each other’s hands. They look toward Finn and Poe who look...reluctant.

“Come on, over 8 cabillion people in this city and you think this could be the guy that Rey has been looking for,” Poe asks in disbelief.

Rose stares at him with a hint of...friendly disdain.

“First, you’re smarter than that, cabillion’s not a thing, and yes, because...it has to be,” Rose answers, finishing with a girlish squeal.

“Okay,” Poe responds, clearly trying to think it through, “what do we know?”

“Okay,” Kaydel starts, “They met on a train.”

“Yeah. We’ve got that one,” Poe smirks.

“I will destroy you,” Kay answers, smirking. She turns back to the group. “They met on a train, he knew she was celebrating a new job.”

It takes place in rapid succession. Each person adding a piece to the puzzle of the last few weeks.

“And the guy that came in here mentioned that this girl was supposed to be celebrating. Did he know she would be out,” Finn asks.

“No, he asked her if she would be out with friends, right?”

“Yeah, because she said that she thought he was trying to ask her out or maybe inferring that he’d want to meet up,” Rose says.

“Yeah.”

“Wait. Guys, I can solve this.”

The group looks up at Poe, his head held up in triumph.

“He left a card. He left his business card.” He begins hunting in the drawers below.

“And hopefully, you didn’t put it with the others behind the bar,” Finn says in annoyance.

“Well, yeah. Why?”

Finn lets out a large sigh.

“Because I threw those all away two days ago when you complained about all of the junk that _we_ continue to leave back there.”

The group groans and lets out a collective, “No,” at Poe.

They all look down at their beers.

Poe slaps his hand down on the counter.

“Wait. I wrote something on the card to remember why I was taking it.”

“Do you remember anything else,” Finn asks.

“Ooh yeah,” Rose lifts her head up, eager, “did you look at his name?”

“Yeah. It was a weird name. Or there was something about it that was strange. Like I think it had something to do with him looking for a girl,” Poe paces behind the bar, working the story out...in somewhat dramatic fashion. The group watches him, their heads following him back and forth. “And then I thought ‘that’s too bad, because this guy would always be alone’.” He chuckles at his own joke, glancing around for reactions and shrugs when he doesn’t get one. He looks at their focused faces, leaning in to follow his line of thought. “Alone.” He taps his fingers on the wood top. He presses his lips in a hard line. “Alone, alone, alone. Solo?” He tests it by saying it out loud. “Yeah. Solo. His last name was Solo.”

Finn looks up, warily. “And his first name?”

“Bob? No. Barry?”

Kaydel snorts. “Barry?”

“Ben,” Finn asks, slowly, “Ben Solo?”

“Yeah. That’s...and actually, there was a symbol.”

“Yeah. For First Order Enterprises.”

In unison, the three heads of Rose, Kaydel, and Poe turn very slowly to Finn. 

Finn looks up, his eyes heavy with the awareness of this new information he’s about to impart.

“Guys, I know who it is...it’s my boss.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Rey. Her friends have had the power to set things straight...almost since the beginning. Sort of.
> 
> I promise that these two will meet.
> 
> Again. Thank you for reading :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's friends scramble to be at the rescue.
> 
> Rey finally meets Ben.
> 
> Rey has more to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo hoo, here we go!
> 
> Mind the tags.

She sits there in the cold, under the Metra heaters for what feels like hours, but it’s not. Ten minutes. Maybe twenty. 

Her quest has been a big failure.

_No, not a complete failure._

Rose was right. She was speaking up for herself. Fighting for something that may have seemed ridiculous and a bit unusual, but she tried for the thing that was based purely on want. 

Want and need. 

They could be one in the same.

She was finally giving herself permission.

And now...things were going to start going her way. Not all of the time, but a hell of a lot more often.

_Commission someone to crochet that on a pillow. Mental note to consult Etsy._

She feels the slow creep of passengers on the platform and she remembers her tear-stained face.

It wasn’t the first time she had cried on a platform. You could even say that it was part of the experience of living here. At some point, you have either seen someone or have _been_ that someone crying for no obvious reason on the platform of the subway station. Despite this knowledge, Rey quickly wipes away her tears, checking to estimate the amount of tinted moisturizer that is still on her face.

She stands and reaches for her phone, facing the exit and debating a very long walk home. 

She shifts in her coat to bring it closer to her and glances to the other passengers. 

_No way._

Her feet stop, nearly sending her body head first into the floor beneath her.

Her eyes narrow and she lets out a small gasp at the sight at the other end of the platform.

* * *

  
  


“Okay, okay, okay,” Poe walks back and forth with his hands on his hips. The others are scrambling for their phones.

Rose stands to go, her left arm searching for the proper place in her down coat as she holds her phone.

“I’ll text her.”

Finn reaches up, still processing this new information. He places a hand on Rose to gently draw her attention back to him.

“Didn’t you say she was coming this way,” he asks.

Rose continues putting on her coat, grabbing her other things. She begins gathering the packages, having failed to drop by the apartment in favor of a beer.

“Yeah...but...she was also supposed to text me,” she fights with awkward bags, “and she never did, so I’m going to go find her.”

She looks at Kaydel.

“Can you take these back to our place?”

Kaydel looks down at the bags and then to Rose and laughs.

“Hell no. If you’re going, I’m going.”

Poe throws down his towel at the bar and steps to the other side.

“I’m going, too,” he stares at Kaydel and Rose, a conspiratorial look spreading across his face.

Finn stands, gulping down the rest of his beer and pauses. A sour look at the sting and regret of that choice.

“No. You own this place...and are the only one actually working tonight,” he shrugs and smiles, a little apology. “You stay here. If she comes back, you can be here to give her the good news.”

Poe looks around at the three, now piling on coats to brave the cold. He looks betrayed. Kaydel pats sympathetically on his shoulder and kisses his cheek.

“Hey, babe. Maybe it’ll be a race to tell her,” she offers.

“Oh, no it won’t!” Rose grabs her packages and belongings, slamming them against tables. She nearly knocks down a few customers as she parts the sea, headed toward the exit of the bar.

Finn and Kaydel glance at each other, surprised at Rose’s tenacity. They chuckle, then bolt for the door before she leaves them behind.

Poe stands pouting behind the bar.

“I dislike all of you!”

He watches them go, neither acknowledging his warning. He waves another bartender forward to help the next customer before grabbing his phone from his back pocket. He makes his way toward the back, smiling as he sends a text.

**Hey Rey txt me bck**

* * *

  
  
  


“Holy shit,” she laughs, placing her hand over her mouth in disbelief. She causes a few nods and glances in her direction with her outburst.

The stranger. 

The curious, subway stranger. 

He’s standing there at the other end of the platform, scrolling through his phone, as if he was frozen from that first encounter and lovingly placed into now.

“Hey,” she shouts, her arms flailing in the air, like an inflatable at a car wash. She doesn’t care what she looks like. It doesn’t matter. She’s been searching for him for what feels like....

It’s been a long time coming.

She’s been dreaming about him since they first spoke.

She watches as he lifts his head up and glances up in her direction, searching for the voice. Her arms drop as she sees his eyes slowly crawl in her direction, her heart beginning to pound with each second it takes before he reaches her.

“Hey,” she says as his eyes land on her. She beams at him, but her face falls as she registers his confusion. Maybe she’s misjudged this whole thing. 

Before she can stop herself, she’s walking towards him.

_Oh, shit._

Maybe he doesn’t remember her, and she’s walking towards a _really_ awkward situation. She reminds herself that despite his starring appearance in many of her fantasies, she doesn’t actually know him.

His confusion turns into a polite smile and Rey quickly calculates how she will manage to play this off. 

_Oops, I thought you were someone else?_

_Can I get directions?_

_Oh, hey. I’m that girl from the train...a few weeks ago._

_I’m having a great day, by the way._

_I’m really happy._

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity fuck._

She smiles at him, and she knows that it’s painfully weird, the look that she’s giving him. But, then his face changes. His smile grows a bit and he raises his hand slowly to wave, just like he did that day as he watched her drift away to the next stop.

As she’s deciding whether she has the courage to collect herself and talk to him or run, she stops about six feet in front of him. She stands, her heels feeling as though they will lift off and send her body into orbit.

“Hi,” she says.

_Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod._

“Hi,” he responds.

His voice wasn’t just a poor copy of a memory. The same smooth, rumble. They stare at each other, and she can’t help but notice his eyes sweeping over her. He smiles.

“How’s your new job,” he asks.

_Holy crap._

She feels the warmth flood her body. 

He remembered. 

“It’s good,” she answers and smiles, so big that she feels her slightly chapped lips, sore from the stretch. He places his phone in his back pocket.

The sound of the inbound train startles them both, the noise filling her ears. They both look in the direction of the sound and then to each other, a question on each of their faces.

She nods her chin towards the train and he smiles and nods a yes.

The sound of the tracks and train fill the station and they wait, watching each other and looking towards the opening doors.

They both spot an empty car and rush to catch it, bursting through the doors.

He follows her as she picks one of the long benches and watches as she sits.

Like their first meeting, he gives her space, but does allow himself to look at her fully in the face, without hesitation.

She holds her hands in her lap, twisting. She feels at ease when she sees his large hands rub down his thighs to his knees, calming his own nerves.

“I-”

“I-”

They both look at each other with a laugh, a quiet chuckle.

He nods at her as if to say _“You go ahead”._

“I’m Rey.”

“It’s really nice to meet you, Rey.” He looks at her, a large smile on his face. “I’m Ben.”

She tries not to laugh out loud as her first thought is how often she could be screaming that name if this all goes well.

“Hi, Ben. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

He smiles back, nodding.

_Finally._

* * *

  
  


The conversation doesn’t flow easily. Later, they’ll chalk it up to the fact that they were both too embarrassed to admit just how much they looked for each other, but that cat is let out of the bag eventually.

Still, Rey sits on that train giddy, butterfly heavy and elated.

After sitting for a few minutes delving into the details of their first meeting, he asks her to have a drink. 

He knows of a place just two stops away.

She accepts immediately, but refrains from telling him how close her apartment and room and bed are located to the bar.

“I’ve been trying to get to know the area a bit. It’s a place I discovered about two…,” he stops himself, glancing down, “a couple of weeks ago.”

“Sounds great,” she says, smiling. 

No. 

Grinning. 

She knows her mouth will feel tight and uncomfortable from overuse. She can’t help how easy it is to feel happy.

She looks up into his brown eyes. She likes the way the lines on his cheeks frame the outside of his smile. The way the freckles and moles are lightly scattered on his skin. 

She’s not sure that she remembered that from before.

She bites her lip to contain her excitement, the idea of more things to learn about him.

She sees him watching, studying her. His eyes land on her shoulders, her neck, her hair. She wonders if he’s taking in these same things. Is he catching anything he missed?

“Just do me a favor. Don’t tell anyone you know that we’re going,” she says. 

He tilts his head, a slight frown. 

“My friend owns a competing bar off of this stop,” she says, rolling her eyes. “He would never forgive me if I went somewhere else.”

“Oh.”

They look at each other and laugh, almost too long. She looks into his eyes and recognizes the same high, the same weightless feeling echoed there.

She remembers his eyes being a deeper brown.

_How are they so incredibly bright?_

She shifts in her seat and their thighs bump. She stifles a tiny sigh at the warmth and nearness.

The train slows to a stop, and they both rise to leave. She stares at the opening doors and a memory flashes, a shutting door. 

A lost opportunity.

When she looks up, Ben is by her side, holding out his hand.

* * *

  
  


“Wait. Who is she sitting with,” Rose asks, insistent.

Rose, Kaydel, and Finn stand huddled by the bar, coats on, faces flushed. Rose especially looks a bit scattered, her coat hanging off of one shoulder, still hanging onto the multiple bags from her shopping trip with Rey.

“Holy shit. That’s my boss,” Finn says, his tone tuneless.

Poe stands behind the bar, drying glasses, fresh from the wash. He’s pouting, staring at Rey and Ben who are huddled in one of the darker corners of the bar.

“Wait,” Kaydel says, pointing.

“I know,” Poe says with a shrug and a slap of a towel.

“But, how,” Rose asks.

“I don’t know,” he responds, clipped.

* * *

  
  


They’ve been on two dates. Three if you count their second meeting, which Rey does.

_“Three dates and we can fuck, right guys,” Rey asks._

_“OhmygodReyhesmyboss.”_

They’ve talked about his job. Her job. They’ve covered religion, politics, music, books, and even embarrassing habits.

He likes to cook, but he’s not very good at it. 

He took a sushi class once.

Rey responds with excitement.

_“Oh, well. I love to eat, so let’s just settle this now and get married,” she blurts out._

She tries not to overthink it as they both blush.

After the first date, Ben kisses Rey for the first time after walking her to the front door of her building.

His lips are soft, and despite the fact that he’s barely touching her, the slight brush of his fingers on her cheek leaves goosebumps trailing down most of her body.

He pulls back from her slowly and she feels herself follow, her lips still in an receptive pucker.

The second date begins to end much the same way, this time with Rey eagerly pulling him to her welcoming arms and open mouth.

She sighs as his hand slides down her shoulders, so slowly, until his fingers rest on her lower back. Rey feels her belly flip and her thighs tighten with the anticipation of his hands grasping her ass. She nips at his lower lip with her teeth at the thought of his large hands hoisting her up and pressing his cock deep inside her. 

She hears his breath become uneven in response. He slowly pulls away, pressing one more kiss to her lips.

He smiles.

“Goodnight, Rey.”

She exhales. It’s either frustration or because she’s been holding it in this whole time.

She doesn't know. A little of both.

He runs his hand through his hair, a gesture with which she’s beginning to become very familiar.

He’s nervous, and she can still see him in her mind, shifting back and forth on his feet, working up the courage to speak to her on the subway.

The thought causes her to bite her lip, holding in a secret smile.

“Goodnight, Ben,” she replies. 

He begins to take a step back, hands in the pockets of his coat. His eyes are still on her as he continues to back up.

She watches him as he makes his way around the corner, out of sight.

She runs upstairs to an empty apartment and a vibrator with a dead battery.

* * *

  
  


They’ve been on three dates and Rey is not counting so much anymore, because all she can think about is how she may have to look up the summary of this movie on Wikipedia, because she can’t concentrate on anything but whether she and Ben are finally going to fuck later.

He holds her hand in the dark, crowded theater, drawing light circles in her palm with his index finger. 

_Ohmygod. Oh. My. God._

It’s just the pad of _one_ of his fingers, and she feels like she needs to have a conversation with her body to calm down.

She hears Ben ask if she’s alright. 

She realizes that she’s scowling at the screen.

It’s the longest movie going experience she has ever had the displeasure of sitting through. Ben suggests that they grab a drink at Poe’s afterwards. He’s anxious to hear her thoughts about the movie. She smiles a tight smile.

He suggests they walk to the bar from the theater.

He’s constantly holding her hand or touching her in some way. A hand to her lower back, an affectionate nudge with his arm when she says something he finds funny. 

The walk allows her to cool off a bit, and Rey tells herself that she has to be patient, because Ben is worth being patient.

And honestly, they haven’t really talked about sex yet. Two mature, moderately functioning adults would have had the conversation before they begin engaging. Responsibility is sexy, she tells herself.

“You know, I had a dream about you a few nights after I first saw you,” he says.

Rey looks up at him, his words bringing her out of her head and back into her date. 

With her hot, smart, kind date.

He looks...a little sheepish. Like he’s been holding this information back.

“Oh yeah,” she asks.

“Yeah,” he says, sighing a bit now that he’s spoken it out loud.

She looks up at him. She’s missing something. He’s glancing off up ahead as if trying to navigate, although she knows he knows where he’s going.

She smiles.

_Oh._

“Ben, did you have a sex dream about me?”

He hesitates, and she grins from ear to ear.

“Tell me about it,” she says, the excitement obvious in her voice.

He stops on the sidewalk, holding her hand, and looks down.

He passes his hand through his air, and she lights up.

_Nervous._

He looks into her eyes and shrugs.

“I think I’d rather show you.”

_Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck._

_Fuck._

She stands there with her mouth open.

His eyes widen as he watches her face carefully, not encouraged by what he’s seeing. He lets go of her hand and passes his hand through his hair again. He's looking down, having found something more interesting there in the concrete.

“I’m…,” he’s stopping himself, “sorry. Was that? Was that weird?”

_Hell no._

“That was hot.”

He looks up at her face trying to make sure that he’s heard her correctly. She smiles at him, trying to send every bit of the longing and pent up frustration she’s felt into that smile.

“Okay,” he says, nodding. He takes her hand and they continue to walk. He looks straight ahead. Rey just looks up at him as if she’s receiving an early Christmas gift.

“I know it should be a normal thing to discuss,” he says, squeezing her hand, “but, we had an unusual beginning.” She nods. “I just wasn’t sure how to go about…,” he lingers, not sure how to finish the sentence.

“Getting laid,” she offers.

He roars a bit with laughter. She likes the hum that she can hear beneath the solid wall of his chest.

“I get it,” she says, tilting her chin up. They turn a corner and she feels herself slow her steps.

“You know, when I rode the train, hoping I’d see you, I had a moment where I worried that I’d ended up chasing someone who turned out to be a real asshole.” 

He looks at her thoughtfully. She stops in the middle of the sidewalk, laughing at a memory. Her conversation with Rose. 

“I kept thinking that you had said these sweet things. Or I imagined you would, but then what if I barely knew you and you just said things like,” she lowers her voice, “I like your tits. I want to eat your pussy.” She laughs, out loud, looking up to see his reaction. “You know...to a random stranger.”

He stares at her and then he looks down, embarrassed.

“Sorry. That's weird. Or inappropriate,” she says, wincing.

He looks up to a lady passing by, walking her dog. They back up away from the street, his hand on her lower back, moving themselves out of the way of other pedestrians going about their evening.

“No. It’s fine,” he says, waving his hand to emphasize. “I get what you mean. What if I was an asshole?”

“Yeah. Or a creep?” She smiles.

He forces his lips into a tight line, seemingly biting down on something he wants to say. She lowers her chin and studies his face.

“What?”

He pauses, before looking around. She crosses her arms over her chest and gives him a smile, cocking her head to the side.

“Rey, I know we still don’t really know each other that well,” he frowns, “apart from searching for each other for a few weeks, but what if eventually, I did want to say those things to you?”

She looks up, her cheeks flushing pink. She can feel a warmth rise. She bites her lip.

_Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck._

“I want to be respectful...” He sighs. 

_Don’t be._

“Rey, I like your tits,” he says, backing up slightly. “Okay, first, I like your smile, but damn, your tits and your ass are...great.” She huffs out a laugh that resembles a sneeze and a squeal as he rattles off a list. “I like how good your hair smells, how you frown at food. It’s weird. You’re _going_ to eat all of it. Why are you mad?” He shrugs. “I like how you make me laugh.” He shoves a hand through his hair, backing up to take her whole body in. “I’ve never seen your naked body, but I have a feeling that I will like everything about it. I am _sure_ that I want to eat your pussy.”

She stares at him, a slight curl to one side of her mouth.

His eyes narrow as he looks down into her face. He seems to be taking in more details. She stands there letting his words wash over her and completely fucking ruining any chance she has of getting home without climbing him in the street. 

“What else?” She smiles. 

He receives her smile eagerly. A tiny sigh of relief leaving his lips. Her chest is rising and falling, noisily, which he seems to be taking in. 

It’s almost as if it puts him more at ease.

He looks away, pretending to be in deep thought. He taps his index finger to his mouth.

“Hm. Your freckles. I want to lick them. Each one. I want to know if you have more underneath your clothes. I want to connect the dots with my tongue.” 

“What else,” she asks, a little more breathless.

“Your tits, again. I want to lick those, too. I want to lick a lot of things.”

She’s leaning with her back against the brick wall of the corner store, surprised to find a surface that is anything but blazing hot. She plants her feet to stay balanced. Her breathing is shallow. She feels dizzy. It’s the only excuse for what she blurts out as he leans in close.

“I want to see your cock.”

He pauses as he braces one arm against the wall, partially caging her in. They both stare at each other, eyes wide with surprise. He laughs and looks into her eyes. Rey closes her eyes in mortification.

A couple passes by behind them, laughing, clearly aware of what she just said. Rey and Ben look back at each other, realizing their moment and her bold statement have been overheard. They laugh out loud as he leans into her, his chin dipping into the crook of her neck, bracing himself.

“Sorry. Yours sounded so much sexier.” She shakes her head in embarrassment and covers her eyes with her fingers.

He reaches for her chin and lifts with his index finger, and she looks at him through the web of her fingers.

He smiles. “What else?” 

She drops her hands slowly, feeling a slight thrill travel down her spine at the hungry tone of his voice.

He brushes a strand of hair from her forehead, his thumb gracing her cheek before stopping near her throat. She lets out a small giggle before she answers.

“Um. I also would like to lick a lot of things.”

* * *

  
  


After hastily sent text messages to her roommates, Rey ascertains that her apartment is indeed available for adult shenanigans.

**OMG GET OUT**

**Ben coming back with me**

**We are totally ducking**

***dcking**

**FUCKING**

**What the hell! You didn’t have to keep typing that. We get it.**

  
  


The walk to the apartment is a blur and before she knows it, they are barreling through her apartment door.

Keys on the dusty table, coat on the chair, she’s grabbing Ben’s giant frame and attempting to lead him down the hallway.

He says things to cover the silence as they stumble to her bedroom door.

_Nice apartment._

_Where’s your room?_

_Why are there so many piles of cookies in the kitchen?_

Rey laughs as he trips over her shoes, lined up near the entrance to her room. Despite her daydreams and fantasies existing in a slow, leisurely pace, they undress clumsily. 

Graceless. 

Hungry.

She’s nearly peeling her underwear off when she looks up in response to a sharp intake of breath. She meets his eyes as he stops, his hands at his boxer briefs. He’s watching her. He doesn’t want to miss it.

She stops herself before she can disappear into the shy hesitance of this new experience. She breathes in slowly, straightening her posture, letting him take her in.

She watches his eyes, sees the slow expanse of his fucking beautiful chest. She sticks her finger under the waistband of her underwear, stopping as she remembers his words. He walks toward her as she begins sliding down the straps of her cotton bra. 

He takes a finger and gently drags it from her throat to the loose cotton cup, pulling it down and exposing her breasts.

They both exhale and moan in unison as his finger continues and circles a nipple.

“Yeah, I had a feeling, but I can confirm,” he whispers, sounding out of breath. “I really like your tits.”

They silently laugh as he bends low to kiss her.

“Your turn,” she says, with a hand to his chest.

He looks slightly wrecked when she pauses his efforts, but he pulls himself together and takes her hand placed on his chest and drags it down. She watches and feels a slow trickle of wetness from her pussy as their hands disappear underneath his boxer briefs.

He places her hand on his hard cock and she sighs on behalf of her pussy. She strokes down, feeling the soft and warm skin of his shaft. He’s still watching her as he slides his boxer briefs down, letting them fall to his ankles. She lets her hand go lower, cupping his balls gently, causing him to lean forward and sigh into her hair. 

She continues to stroke him, taking his hand and returning the gesture.

She guides him down her belly, over the dusted curls of hair, and pauses to let him explore. He doesn’t hesitate, allowing his fingers to dip between her folds, circling through the wetness until he finds her clit.

She jumps at that as he whispers a quiet _Fuck._

He takes his other hand and pulls her underwear down, over her ass, and lets them land to the floor. With his fingers still close to her entrance, he moves his index finger and begins circling her clit.

“I was thinking about this in the theater,” he says, leaning close to her ear.

She thinks about the motion. It’s familiar. And then she remembers the faint way he circled his index finger into the flesh of her hand.

“Oh. Ben. Fuck.” She throws her head back, his words and hands causing her to dig her toes into the floor.

“I couldn’t think straight.” A little more pressure. “I still don’t remember much about that damn movie.” She holds onto his forearms to balance her weakening knees. “But, I could probably tell you about everything I thought about doing to you.”

She reaches up, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him down to kiss her waiting mouth. 

Where they may have hesitated before, the kiss explodes, leaving them piling onto her bed.

She shifts back, bouncing up from the mattress as he falls forward over her outstretched body.

He’s resting on his forearms, hovering above her as he nips at her bottom lips and kisses a trail from her chin, neck, and landing on her breasts. He takes a nipple and teases it with his tongue before bending down and taking as much into his mouth as possible.

“Mhmm,” she hums, as her hips lift to meet his. She can feel the hard pulse of his cock against her thighs, bobbing as he moves down her body. 

He’s slowly kissing her hips and letting the tip of his nose swipe lower to her pussy. She wants to pull his head by his hair and drag him right where she wants him, but she waits, letting him take his time, feeling his hot breath as it tickles the inside of her thighs.

He pauses, looking up at her, his face framed by waves of black hair. He’s staring at her, daring her to keep her eyes on him as he leans forward and slowly licks up the line of her pussy.

She gasps, feeling another trickle of wetness release.

He does it again, this time letting his tongue circle her clit.

She can’t say a word. Just gasps for air, watching his eyes. He smirks which fades into relief at her reaction.

He buries his face, inhaling and taking kitten licks. He hums, the vibrations causing her mouth to fall open and moan.

“Can also confirm. Definitely want to keep eating your pussy,” he says, face still buried in between her thighs.

She throws her head back, laughing out loud. He chuckles along with her, slowly inserting a finger inside and leaning in to suck her clit.

“Yes, Ben,” she gasps, “Oh my God. Yes.”

He begins to pump and she can feel her pussy clenching in to receive his fingers.

_Oh God his hands, his mouth._

“Fuck, Ben.”

He takes his other hand and begins to circle her clit, playing with different patterns, looking for the one that has her toes curling.

“Ooh, fffffuck, fuck, there!”

She hears him laugh into her thighs, kissing the skin there. He continues pumping his fingers and she feels a deeper stretch as he inserts another.

Her hips lift higher and she glances down, expecting to see the top of his head, instead meeting his dark eyes.

She recognizes the same sweetness and eagerness from the first time that she saw him. Will she ever stop thinking about him that way?

There’s no hesitation, no looking away, no sheepish grin. He’s just a man, hungry, wanting, and needing. 

And Rey knows about wants and needs.

He switches up the motion of both hands and she sucks in a breath from the sheer bite of pleasure.

She reaches down and grabs his shoulders, pulling and begging him to come up.

“Fuck me, Ben,” she says, her hands running down his pectoral muscles as she teases a nipple.

“But, you didn’t…”

“Oh, I will,” she says with a smile, “but, I want you inside me.”

He looks at her and nods.

He reaches down, but he doesn’t really need to check. She’s wet, welcoming, and ready.

“Condoms,” he asks, freezing in place.

“Birth control, clean, and tested like a champ. How about you?”

“Clean,” he says, his cock at her entrance. “Coming inside?”

She pats his shoulders. 

“We can explore our other options, but this time...inside,” she stops, holding his face in her hands. “Come inside me, Ben.”

He kisses her full on the mouth as he slowly pushes inside.

She feels grateful for the bit of preparation he allowed her, but nothing could prepare her for the feeling. The deliciously slow torture of Ben pushing his lovely cock all of the way inside.

They both groan, loudly, embarrassingly so, as he bottoms out.

He pulls back and forth, slowly. Rey feels herself meeting him with her hips, asking him to move.

“Rey, I…” his breathing is hard. He’s holding back. “I don’t think...I don’t think I’ll last if I go too fast.”

“Ben,” she says. She squeezes his arms to try and get his attention back to her face. “Ben, look at me.”

He looks down into her eyes, his brow furrowed.

“This is not the last time you are going to fuck me, okay,” she says with a wide smile. He laughs, moving a little faster.

He thrusts a little harder, and she squeaks. He picks up the pace and she feels herself begin to bounce, the friction driving her mad.

He takes her hand and directs it down to her clit.

“Please, touch yourself for me.”

She complies.

The added stimulation is amazing and soon she can feel herself climbing to the top. 

The fullness of his cock, the warmth of his body pressing down. Rey feels incredible, and then…

And then..

“Oh god, Rey. You’re so good.”

She moans, her fantasy coming to life.

She smiles up at him, a little snap of pleasure hitting deep in her spine. Her pussy clenches down on him, gripping.

“Fuck, you feel so good. I knew. I knew when I first saw you. You smiled, and I just...you looked so happy. I just wanted to make you…” 

He doesn’t finish his sentence. 

Rey howls in his ear, her orgasm lighting up the room and echoing god-knows-where.

He rocks through her orgasm, his eyes on her tits and her face as he squeezes his eyes shut and empties inside of her.

She wraps her legs around his waist and pulls him down on top of her, letting him rest his head on her shoulder.

They lay there for a few minutes before mustering enough energy to clean up and brush their teeth. Rey doesn’t even ask if he’s staying. She pulls on Ben’s undershirt, handing him his boxer briefs while climbing into bed.

They lay together, tangled in her bed, sleepy and sated.

* * *

  
  
  


“So...this is your fifth date, and you guys just rode the train.”

“I mean, we ran errands and had dinner, but...yeah,” she says, sipping her coffee.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she replies, matter of factly.

“Hm,” Rose ponders that. She snorts and shrugs. “Geez, you think you’d be tired of riding the subway after making it your job for two weeks.”

Rey stares at her mug, frowning at the bottom of her cup. 

“I didn’t say what else we did on the train.”

Rose looks up, turning to look at Rey.

“Rey," she slaps her on the arm. "Oh my god, why didn’t you lead with that?”

“What,” she replies, with false innocence. “I told you I went for a ride.”

* * *

  
  
  
  


They’ve been on...so many dates. Add one to that if you count their trip to the bar after their second meeting. 

Rey isn’t even sure she counts the first time they saw each other as actually meeting, but Ben confirms that it does. 

_“Our souls met,” he assures her with a smile._

_“Ew, Ben. That’s really gross,” she groans._

But, she secretly agrees with him.

She’s looking at him, standing at the large counter in his apartment, which he owns, because _of course_ he does.

She watches him chop vegetables, a glass of wine in her hand, sipping thoughtfully at the scene in front of her. He has a little sweat on his brow from the open flame on the stove, a dishtowel slung over his shirt.

It’s ridiculous, really. Her boyfriend is cooking. 

For her. 

In his apartment.

When her contract was extended at work, he seemed more excited than Rey, researching a menu, picking up wine. 

She’s pretty sure she saw a dessert box in the fridge when she opened it earlier.

He’s so fucking thoughtful that sometimes Rey is overwhelmed by it all.

And goddammit, Rose was right.

The more she asserts herself, things do work out. So much more often.

There’s the occasional misstep, but generally, Ben and Rey have gotten better about saying what they want and need.

She reaches to sneak a piece of prosciutto from a plate and he catches her. She hears the ringing, popping sound and feels the sting on her ass.

Rey whips around and sees him standing there ready to admonish her with a wooden spoon.

Her breath hitches and she bites her lip, feeling her cheeks glow at the fleeting thought of him bending her over the counter.

Before he can pull the platter away and feign any frustration, he catches the look on her face. He looks at the spoon in his hand and back at her eyes.

“Is that something that...something that interests you,” he asks, his voice careful and hopeful all at once.

She presses her hand into the sting, rubbing in slow circles.

She nods.

He gives her a quick nod in response and walks forward, kissing her forehead before continuing with dinner. She stands there, letting a small sigh escape. She picks up her wine.

“That’s good to know,” he says.

Later that night, wine soaked, she’s holding onto him tightly as he’s pushing deep inside of her. Her legs are wrapped tightly around his hips, and she just wants to be closer. She wants to be consumed by him.

She’s looking up at him, her eyes shining, full of adoration, when their eyes meet. He seems to be thinking the same thing.

He smiles and swears, thrusting and caressing her face. She feels her pussy clench and the tight grip on his cock causes his head to drop, moaning and whispering in her ear.

Her eyes fly open and she stares at the ceiling.

“Did you just say that you love me for the first time with your cock inside of me?”

He slows and stills, looking at her.

Sheepish.

Sweet.

He winces, unsure if he’s royally fucked this up.

He rocks slowly to relieve some of the building tension.

“Ben?” 

He looks at her, mouth open, mulling over his next words.

She raises her hips in answer to meet him.

She lifts again.

“Okay,” she says. 

“Okay?” He thrusts again.

“Yeah, Ben. Okay,” she says, nodding frantically as he thrusts deeper and deeper.

He nods back before looking into her eyes this time.

“I love you, Rey.”

She tosses her head back, feeling the tears begin to well up in her eyes and falling quickly down.

He groans, and he’s coming.

She holds him, their bodies sweaty and damp from the effort. When he tries to pull out his nearly soft cock, she holds onto him tightly.

He sees the tears on her face. She smiles, reassuring him. He kisses her cheeks, wiping some of the wetness with his thumbs.

“I love you too, Ben.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was always going to be Rey and Ben that found each other, despite all of their connections. They deserved that.
> 
> Thank you for being along for the ride, wink wink.
> 
> But, seriously, thank you for reading, for your lovely kudos and comments. Writing has been on my mind for a very long time, so it's been pretty dreamy to begin sharing the things in my brain. I hope you enjoyed this Ben and Rey. I hope the fluff was lovely and the smut juicy. And hopefully, you were able to laugh a little, too.
> 
> ** Nov 21, 2020: Hello! As more and more people find this fic, I did have a request for an Epilogue, so while it may not be any time soon, I may revisit these two someday. Feel free to subscribe if you're interested :)
> 
> I posted the first chapter for a new WIP: [CLAIM](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26179588/chapters/63704716%5BClaim%5D)
> 
> Mind the tags to see if it's your jam :)
> 
> XOXO

**Author's Note:**

> So, the whole adorable guy chatting and then getting out at his stop, assuming I was getting off at his stop (because it was Queensboro Plaza), and then looking absolutely devastated that I wasn't getting out, too...true story.
> 
> It was one of the cutest things I have ever experienced, and being a woman in this world...I felt it was necessary to tell my friends that I was being hit on, but not in a "creepy way". Le sigh.
> 
> Sadly, for this guy, I was and am still married to the only person I want chatting me up on the subway...but, it's nice to think about. He was very kind, polite, and genuinely seemed interested in why I was smiling like a big dork. I hope he was just as charming and adorable when he eventually met his soulmate.
> 
> Thank you for reading :)
> 
> Other works:[CrystalDen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalDen/works)
> 
> Twitter:[@the_crystalden](https://twitter.com/the_crystalden)


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